Oh, for the love of...

OK, so the fact that Mother Catholicism doesn't WANT gays among her shepherds is no great news. But yesterday the the Vatican issued a directive which explicitly says that spiritual directors and confessors in seminaries "have the duty to dissuade" any candidates "who show deep-seated homosexual tendencies" from joining the priesthood.

Really.

What exactly ARE deep-seated homosexual tendencies, hmm? Liking Judy Garland too much? A lisp? Never having had a girlfriend? Seriously, what constitutes a "deep-seated" homosexual tendency? And how does that differ from a shallow homosexual tendency? Is that someone who's only a little bit gay? Maybe someone who's donated to HRC, or who's attended a pride parade (but of course never marched in one...)? Someone who had a little guy on guy fling but has "gotten past it"? Maybe it's someone who's Bi?

I think the real issue, though is in "the duty to dissuade." Isn't the call to serve God one of those things that isn't for man to interfere with? Y'know, "not my will, but God's will"? And doesn't the Church revere saints who fought against the odds, and even died, to serve God? Yeah, I thought so.

Well, apparently that's not good enough for Mother Catholicism. It seems the Church thinks that homosexual priests "find themselves in a situation that seriously obstructs them from properly relating to men and women." HUH?! How in the WORLD does a celibate GAY man relate less well to men and women than a celibate STRAIGHT man? I mean, most women I know would say that, on a non-sexual basis, gay men relate to them FAR better than straight guys do. Doesn't that tell you something?

Maybe the Church's really problem is a fear that the gay priests won't be able to do the celibacy thing. After all, those gayboys, they're MANIMALS! They just won't be able to keep themselves from hitting the bathhouses and turnpike reststops. But here's my thinkin': the guys who go for gloryholes, are NOT the kind of guys that become priests, y'know? Anymore than straight guys who hit the bars and pick up chicks are the guys that become priests.

Moreover, priests know about the celibacy thing when they sign on the dotted line; it's not like it's some big surprise. Anyone signing up knows that what's expected of them. So where's the problem? If he ain't gettin any ANYWAY, what does it matter that he fantasizes about men instead of women? Is it OK that straight priests jack off to thoughts of women (and yes, they DO jack off)? Even if you DO think fantasies of gay sex are wrong, isn't that really between the priest and God?

Earlier this fall, in anticipation of the publication of the Directive, the Vatican ordered a year long inspection of seminaries and theological schools in the U.S. to look for "evidence of homosexuality" and for faculty members who dissent from church teachings. Apparently it reflects the concern some higher ups had about the church's child-molestation scandal.

Now let's analyze this last paragraph shall we? OK, so we got a year long inspection of seminaries to look for evidence of gays in the ranks. Hm. Whaddya suppose they're looking for? Copies of 'Out"? Anal lube? Or is it just that they're going to talk to people, and suss out the gays that way? Y'know..."Welllll Fr. Fredrick over there seems a bit mincy and whenever Stone Phillips is on he gets a faraway look in his eye..."? Seems REALLY McCarthy-esque. Or, perhaps more a propos - inquisitionesque.

THEN we have them looking for evidence of homosexuality IN THE U.S. Because, dontcha know, gayness only happens in America. We are loose, LOOSE people, we Americans. Except that in terms of acceptance of homosexuality, America is near the bottom of the list of the industrialized nations.

Finally, they're weeding out gays as a response to the pedophilia scandals. OK, is there anyone who doesn't know that taking gays out of the picture won't do a goddamned thing about the child-gropers? Seriously, raise your hands! Because every legitimate fucking study of child molestation says two things: one, it's most likely to be done by a family member, and two, the perpetrators are overwhelmingly straight men . But, hey, research be damned! You gotta have SOMEONE to blame, right? And honestly, this keeps the Church from having to deal with selecting out the pedophiles.

Damn. Just when you think the world is taking a few steps forward, it jumps a half mile back.

And people wonder why I left the Church.