Things to Remember

When I have PMS, I will not:

• Read about the aftereffects of massive hurricanes which devastate cities, paying special attention to NOT reading about: the foot-draging, racist inefficiency of the government; the smarmy, disingenous, classist tripe that comes out of a CLEARLY incompetant president's mouth; the obnoxiously overprivileged statements of victims who had the really bad fortune of being holed up in 3 to 5 star hotels, complete with food, water, and beds with relatively clean linens; frankly feral actions of some of the victims, who are so base as to express their anger by firing weapons at aid workers; and the religious fanatics who believe that the residents of the city brought this down upon themselves because gawd wanted to wipe the city clean of sinners.

• Go see movies which involve the brutal death of both main characters at the hands of thugs hired to prevent them from telling the truth about a pharmaceutical company using Africans as human subjects for drug trials.

• Think about how all my friends have interned, or have jobs, or have family in the field, whereas I am just floating along, with no relevant experience, no networking skills, and a graduation date looming in the not too distant;

• Talk to my friend about a mutual friend's hunt for a wedding dress, which I was not invited to assist;

• Look in the mirror;
  

• Think about how I am, once again, close to flat broke due to my inability to maintain a budget;

• Discuss the fact that my boyfriend slept with someone not me, in an attempt to assuage the skin hunger stemming from the 3000 miles between us;

• Look at my grades for the summer which, while not bad by any means, are not what I'd hoped they'd be;

• Think about how my best friends went camping and I couldn't go;

• Admit my fear that said boyfriend is subconsciously dragging his feet about moving out here;

• Think about the fact that my mother has withdrawn from me over the years;

• Look at or think about the dime-sized, red-edged scaly patch on my leg, which appeared out of nowhere and which I think might be a sqamous cell carcinoma;
  

• Think about how badly I may be screwing up my daughter with my anger and control issues;

• Think about how I can't afford to see my therapist.